Welcome to the Ellentown Reference Department Home Page. This page was created to satisfy the curiosity of the many people who must wonder just what it's like to work in the fast paced, intellectual atmosphere of a big city reference department. The individuals who make up the Ellentown Reference Team have been carefully hand-picked from thousands of applicants supposedly because of their communication and computer skills and their ability to learn new tasks rapidly. Words like ingenuity, inventiveness, prowess, faculty, proficiency, talent and dexterity might be used when describing a reference department. But not this reference department. In reality, the staff of the Ellentown Reference Department stumble around in a belladonnic haze, stuttering and mumbling to themselves, seemingly unable to focus on the drool dangling from the edge of their chins.
Libraries are not what they used to be. In the past, libraries were synonymous with a desire to learn; a place where you could concentrate; a place that didn't smell too bad; a place where you could go and probably not get shot. Not any more. People with money buy computers and visit the library "on-line" from home. People with decency and civility don't exist any more. What's left is that segment of the population, dysfunctional and angry, who do not understand why the world has left them behind, but confident that library employees are fair game for every type of insulting crap their brains can strain to create.
Ride along with a reference sub-associate on an average day in the finely-tuned machine we call Ellentown Ref.