Doing Homework Assignments

In 1997, Crumpetville Public Library System along with over 1,400 other libraries in California, signed a cooperative agreement with the United States Department of Education. Crumpetville is a proud signatory to this agreement known as the Homework Anti-Responsibility and Deferral Act. This agreement states that the U.S. Department of Education and the library systems of California feel that children have been unfairly burdened by the assignment of homework projects and the expectation that they should learn something during their years of school attendance.

Now, as a direct result of the HARD agreement, children no longer need to complete their homework themselves. They don't even need to attempt to complete their homework themselves. Once an assignment has been given by a teacher, the student merely needs to inform a parent of the assignment in question. The parent will then call the library reference department and instruct the reference staff to complete the assignment for the student. The parent should be able to leave a phone number where the reference staff person can call back with or fax the completed assignment. Because the student will inevitably be talking on the phone or watching television when the library attempts to call back, Crumpetville has proposed the creation of a Completed Homework Courier Service. This service will likely begin in the next few months and will be paid for (like our schools and other public services) by all those people who chose not to have children.

Ellentown Reference Department